Between Deceit And Insanity
by RuneYue
Summary: Shuuhei is probably not in his right mind to be doing this. One shot. T for language and situations.


**Title:** Between Deceit and Insanity**  
Series: **Bleach**  
Parings/Characters:** No parings, however Shuuhei, Rangiku and Kazeshini make an appearance**  
Disclaimer:** Shuuhei, Rangiku, Kazeshini, Bleach and all the likes of the series belong to Tite Kubo.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T for language and general suggestive content.**  
Dedication:** All the fans of Shuuhei and Rangiku, whether individually or together!**  
Summary:** _Shuuhei is probably not in his right mind to be doing this._

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The Ninth Division Vice Captain didn't want to believe it. Not then, not now, not ever. The mere thought twisted his insides in such annoying, awkward, indescribable ways.

His zanpaktou chuckled evilly from somewhere unseen.

_'In some worlds, I believe they call that annoying, awkward, indescribable feeling "love".',_it taunted. Stupid sword.

Really, _honestly_, Hisagi didn't know at the time what he was agreeing too. He was tricked! She had tricked him! Was it really his fault that all Rangiku had to do was lean forward, chuckle in a low, sultry voice and say something - _anything_ really, they didn't even have to be real words - and he'd agree?

Kazeshini began to howl with laughter as memories of the agreement flooded back through his mind. _'Yes, yes and yes!',_came the dark answer to the previous question.

"Shut up! It wasn't a just move!",he argued, sulkily. The whole thing should of been illegal. That's what it was! Illegal! The sensual way she had tricked him into this should of been illegal too. Nothing that could ever make a person feel like that, let alone be something that someone would _want_ to ever attempt, could ever be legal. There must of been laws against it! Somewhere. Hopefully.

He could still hear Kazeshini laughing at him.

With a deep breath, he poured himself another shot of Teiseihaku-shu sake - really the whole situation, jackass zanpkatou included, warranted drinking heavily intoxicating liquids of various unknown natures, illegal or not - to calm his frayed nerves. Sake was the only way he'd live through this whole ordeal and maybe make it out with some shred of sanity left.

_Maybe._

_'Good luck with that, kid.'_,the dark zanpaktou snickered, still utterly entertained with it's owner's misfortune. Shuuhei attempted to ignore it.

Dignity was out the window though, he mused. Hell, Dignity had long ago taken his own zanpaktou and stabbed himself through the eyes, into the brain and out the back of his skull, finishing it all in one smooth, quick motion.

Dignity had _cheated_. Shuuhei was sure of this.

"Hisagiiii!",Rangiku called out as she opened the door to his office, not even bothering to knock.

_'And so it begins...'_

Shuuhei swatted at the unseen spirit and leveled what was supposed to be a piercing glare at the casual dressed - she was wearing some sort of Westernized dress that he just couldn't help but linger on for a few seconds - Vice Captain but it came forth as more like a childish pout. Normally her actions wouldn't of annoyed him as much, but no one said that he couldn't be a sore loser in all of this.

Rangiku smiled back at him sweetly, though not entirely innocent. He gulped.

_'Sucker!'_

"Ready?"

He sighed. There was no way out of this stupid, horrible, damn-should-be-illegal situation.

"Yeah.",he stood up, resigned to his fate.

Rangiku positively glowed with excitement and took his arm, nearly pulling it out of it's socket as she dragged him forward. "Vacation time!",she chimed with glee. "We are going to do so much shopping - thanks for volunteering to carry my bags by the way! - and try so much strange new food - oh, I found this nice, though expensive, place that we just have to go to in Karakura! You don't mind paying right? - and have so much fun!"

Shuuhei nodded dumbly, internally wincing slightly as he could already see all his winnings from last week's poker game flying straight out the window like a Hell Butterfly.

Maybe if he closed his eyes and wished really, _really_ hard then it would all be a very bad dream. For a second, there was nothing but silence and he found himself getting quite hopeful. '_A dream, a dream, a very bad---'_

"Hisagi! Stop dawdling! Times wasting!",Rangiku laughed, pulling his reluctant form forward once again.

_'A very bad dream that you agreed to!',_his zanpaktou reminded him with some form of smug, sadistic satisfaction.

Shuuhei groaned and shook loose of Rangiku's grasp long enough to rotate his already sore arm. If nothing else, at least Rangiku was a drinker. He too could get plastered frequently during this trip and somehow, maybe, make it out still sane.

_'Not likely.',_Kazeshini chuckled, already fading into the dark corners of Shuuhei's mind.

Surviving with any remnants of sense left probably wouldn't matter anyway, Shuuhei thought with a sigh. Having already agreed to this vacation, not to mention paying for it, and having such a zanpaktou like Kazeshini, he couldn't of been in his right mind to begin with.

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I don't know if it's because I'm now attending classes and that's messing up my normal daytime sleeping habits or what, but these fics are getting a bit more lengthy and somewhat difficult to pin down within my mind.

Regardless, I hope you've enjoyed the read and remember, all reviews are appreciated!


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